Wine Time, or Wine O’Clock, has become a female shorthand for reward and relaxation. You’ve seen the memes: 

Tonight’s forecast is 99% chance of wine.

Wine Time = Me Time.

Life is the stuff between Coffee Time and Wine Time.

These memes speak of wine being a source of relief from the stress of the day.

But, for many women it’s not that simple.

According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, women drinking at hazardous levels is an emerging trend over the past few years. Women aged 39 to 59 are the group most likely to exceed the recommended safe levels of alcohol use (of 10 standard drinks per week). 

Women are more likely to drink to relieve stress and negative emotions but, ironically, women are also more susceptible to the negative physical and emotional effects of alcohol. Societal judgement of women who drink can lead to secrecy and shame that makes it hard to ask for help.

I speak with many women who are trying to cut down or stop alcohol use and say that wine o’clock is the hardest time of their day. Once the ‘witching hours’ of 4 to 6pm approach, motivation can lag and a woman’s reasons for attempting to reduce her alcohol intake becomes less important. 

The negative consequences of wine time are about far more than being a little tipsy while cooking dinner. A colleague tells the story of a mother whose alcohol use meant she was unaware her child had woken and needed her until the child was extremely distressed. And another, who wonders of the impact on her daughter – who is now of drinking age – of having seen the normalisation of drinking every evening. 

So, the month of Oct-sober is the perfect time for an alcohol break. 

It is possible to keep all the good bits of wine time – the sense of release and either connection or solitude – but without the alcohol. Keep the time and ditch the wine. 

Finding ways to ‘take the edge off’ in a healthy way needs some creativity but that’s where the fun is. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Non-alcoholic beverage bottles shops are on the rise, so pay a visit and stock up on some of the great alcohol-free wines on offer.  

• There are ways of making a glass of water feel fancy. Mix it up, and replace still with sparkling, use good glasses, frost them beforehand, add a garnish like lime, lemon, orange, pineapple or celery, and choose chunky ice-cubes to replicate those party-sounding clinks.

• If having some me-time has been an important part of your wine time, be inspired by one of my clients who puts a do-not-disturb sign on her bedroom door and takes half-an-hour to either dance like no one’s watching, do yoga or stretches, meditate, journal or just lie on the floor. 

• Music is a great way to either transport you to a more carefree time or to facilitate having a good cry, which can give great relief, especially in the early days of stopping alcohol when the main feeling can be  of total overwhelm. 

Ditching wine time can bring positives as well as minimising negatives. I often share the words of author Mary Karr: “I thought giving up alcohol was saying goodbye to all the fun and all the sparkle, and it turned out to be just the opposite – that’s when the sparkle started for me.” 

One client calls her new sobriety a ‘secret weapon’, echoing researcher and TED presenter, Brene Brown, who describes being sober as her superpower. Many women I talk to say they are excited about quitting alcohol and feel a real sense of pride and achievement in doing so.

Sober months are a great time to change your relationship with alcohol – add a twist to wine time this Oct-sober. 

And for more ideas on some awesome wind down drinks to try, check out NoLo Life’s easy but delicious alcohol-free cocktail and mixed drinks recipe suggestions.